Thursday, October 6, 2011

Wings and Things Power Rankings: Week 4

This is what the first place Dream Shakes are doing right now.

1) Dream Shake -- Another week, another 1st place team.  This time it's the Dream Shakers leaving no doubt with a whopping 221 points and a commanding lead of 60 points over the next closest team.  31 points for Forte and Beanie, 30 from Nicks, 28 from Megatron, and on and on.  Well done, my young son.  Keep having fun partying with Matt Leinart and those Southern California babes... and the girl on the right.

2) Vladimir Ducasse -- Big Vlad took an L this week thanks to a measly 12 points combined from the Amish Rifle and Jay Cutler.  The haters may be out again to question this squad being ranked 2nd, but I'm still a believer. 

3) G-MEN --  No 2nd QB? No Problem! The G-MEN managed to squeak out a W against Soom and Faj despite starting Kerry Collins, who was out.  They made the first trade of the season, acquiring hometown hero Eli Manning, but since the trade didn't go through in time, were forced to rely on Aaron Rodgers.  Thankfully for them, he had about 47 points.  He's good.

4) Know-Shon? --  From now on, Know-Shon gets the attention in the power rankings that he puts into the league in the comments... Arian Foster had a good week.

5) Football Jukes --  I vote that from now on, Jukes does the power rankings.  The man is on fire, he clearly has that magic and I'm obviously not equipped to decide what makes a good team.  A no-big-deal 150-point week on the shoulders of 33 points from Cam has just become expected. 

6) Beefcakes --Where's the Beef?  After reaching the top spot in the rankings, the Cakes have dropped two in a row, including an embarrassing 183-107 smackdown at the hands of the more athletic EO the Truth.  Sweet -1.94 points, Sanchize!

7) Kiss the Baby -- Demps made a daring move to trade away unspectacular yet decently productive Eli Manning in favor of starting young Colt McCoy and Colt did not disappoint with 18 points.  Problem is that Torrey Smith followed up his monster week with a big fat 0 and Aaron Hernandez was in the lineup yet out of the real lineup. 

8) Softer Knocks -- Softer Knocks, indeed.  What are you, my team?  Joseph drops his first game of the year, but it was a 94 point stinker and the critics are out in full force wondering if this squad will be able to rebound without Jamaal Charles (and LT and Knowshon in his place). 

9) R.I. Bulldogs -- After an 0-2 start, the Bulldogs have rebounded thanks to a few big weeks from Wes Welker, constant awesomeness from Fred Jackson and Michael Turner, and Drew Brees being Drew Brees.  With Big Ben under constant assault from opposing defenses, my question is, what else do they have?

10) #4 Great Teammate -- Classic Truth making sour apples out of Timmy.  183 points led by 28 from Pierre Garcon, I'm calling a big run from these guys.  Sheet metal union issues in the rear-view mirror and too athletic to be this bad, this bunch is about to unleash the wrath that only Mrs. Bobby Knight could match.

BIG hair, BIG stripe action, BIG RIVALRY!

11) Tomlin's Shape-Up -- Mike Vick had another big week for the Shape-Ups, but there are BIG concerns as they head into the Toilet Bowl Rivalry Capitalization Matchup Of The Century.  Andre Johnson hurt?  Plax in the lineup?  Shonn Greene where art thou?  Will I get my first win at the hands of this sorry crew?

12) Roger Goodell -- My guys put forth a representative effort this week with 143 points (5th most in the league), but were no match for the buzzsaw that is the Dream Shake.  Still no answers here, even though Jason Campbell was a big improvement over that loser Cassel (he's available for a pick next year if anyone is looking for a loser 2nd QB).  Mendenhall is probably out, which might be good for the Steelers but isn't good for me.  My rookie wide receivers are awesome, but I really don't see way way my team wins a game unless the other team really stinks it up.


Demps said...

Commish - that hair defies physics. did you style it in such a way because you were jealous of your younger brother Tzuwhm's height?

I talked to a number of Guy's about my trade and they said it was the right move. That's why I didn't start a TE last week...because the one I tried to trade for wasn't on my roster in time.

Charlie Widdoes said...

What makes the style so amazing is that it's completely natural, no styling whatsoever aside from abstaining from visiting the Ice Cube at the barber shop.

I think your trade was pretty good but I have my reservations about bringing multiple guys into the decision-making mix

Will Lyons said...

can only hope that my team didn't peak in week 4. also i think andy dalton and eo are related b/c he is also the truth

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