Thursday, April 28, 2011

The OFFICIAL Scott Simon Mock Draft

We are just one day away, so we have another treat from RFH friend and Steelers fan, Scott Simon.  This time, he was kind enough to share his annual, much-anticipated Mock Draft that he cranked out in time to prepare for Gabe Carimi on his podcast.  That's right, the man had Gabe Carimi on his podcast the day before the draft.  Follow him on twitter @1scottsimon.

1.     Carolina: Cam Newton – QB – Auburn
Comment: The Panthers agree to admit to paying Newton to play football for them.

2.     Denver: Marcell Dareus – DT – Alabama
Comment: With All Pros Ronald Fields, Marcus Thomas AND Louis Leonard at D-Tackle, the Broncos take a luxury pick in Dareus.

3.     Buffalo: Von Miller – LB – Texas A&M
Comment: Miller played the “Joker” position at A&M and played it very well. Looking likely Ralph “Batman” Wilson will vanquish him to Buffalo.

4.     Cincinnati: Blaine Gabbert – QB – Missouri
Comment: The Bengals nab a three-year “letterman” to follow Carson.

5.     Arizona: Patrick Peterson – CB – LSU
Comment: Zona play zone? Not with Peterson and Rodgers-Cromartie they won’t.

6.     Cleveland: AJ Green – WR – Georgia
Comment: The Browns take a Green. Green then takes an antacid.

7.     San Francisco: Nick Fairley – DT – Auburn
Comment: This is what Patrick Willis is talkin’ ‘bout. A double-team inducing defensive tackle to keep the Middle Linebacker clean.

8.     Tennessee: Prince Amukamara – CB – Nebraska
Comment: Amukamara instantly becomes the best Titans cover corner since Petey Jones.

9.     Dallas: JJ Watt – DE – Wisconsin
Comment: A little extra wattage at Jerry’s World. JJ will shine in Big D.

10.  Washington: Julio Jones – WR – Alabama
Comment: The ‘Skins need help everywhere and very few can keep up with this Jones.

11.  Houston: Cameron Jordan – DE – California
Comment: If anybody can screw up a 6’6” Jordan who plays incredible defense, it might be Texans DC Wade Phillips. I have concerns…

12.  Minnesota: Anthony Castonzo – OT – Boston College
Comment: After being selected, Castonzo proclaims this the “Summer of Anthony!”

13.  Detroit: Aldon Smith – DE/OLB – Missouri
Comment: The city of Detroit finally have themselves a hybrid!

14.  St. Louis: Corey Liuget – DT – Illinois
Comment: Scouting report says: “Relentless motor.” I say: “Too Liuget to quit.”

15.  Miami: Mike Pouncey – G/C – Florida
Comment: Cue Former Dolphins Head Coach Cam Cameron and his now infamous “you’re going to love him. You’re going to love his family! He comes from a great family!” We know, Cam. We know.

16.  Jacksonville: Jake Locker – QB – Washington
Comment: We will now call Jags Head Coach Jack Del Rio, Jack Del Rio Boat Gambler. The Jaguars surprise us again.

17.  New England (via Oakland): Mark Ingram – RB – Alabama
Comment: With the run of tackles yet to commence, the Pats select someone who can run off tackles.

18.  San Diego: Gabe Carimi – LT – Wisconsin
Comment: From southern Wisconsin to southern California, this Offensive Tackle hits the weather jackpot...

19.  New York Giants: Tyron Smith – LT – USC
Comment: the same cannot be said for this Offensive Tackle.

20.  Tampa Bay: Da’Quan Bowers – DE – Clemson
Comment: Da’Wait is over. Bucs save you from losing more bucks.

21.  Kansas City: Ryan Kerrigan – DE – Purdue
Comment: Fun Fact: KC GM Scott Pioli is married to Bill Parcells’ daughter. I wonder if he lets her buy the groceries…

22.  Indianapolis: Nate Solder – LT – Colorado
Comment: With the rookie wage scale to be implemented, Solder should have come out last year and “earned lots” (a Nate Solder anagram!)

23.  Philadelphia:  Jimmy Smith – CB – Colorado
Comment: A simple selection where team need meets great value. Philly fans, of course, hate the pick.

24.  New Orleans: Adrian Clayborn – DE/DT – Iowa
Comment: We all saw how Clayborn tore up the Orange Bowl in 2010. He’ll do the same to the Sugar, you can bet.

25.  Seattle: Andy Dalton – QB – TCU
Comment: Hasselbeck, Whitehurst, Losman, and now Dalton. Seattle now has an embarrassment of embarrassment at the Quarterback position.

26.  Baltimore: Brandon Harris – CB – Miami (FL)
Comment: Lewis, Reed, McGahee, Goodman and now Harris. The Inner Harbor is the perfect place for another Hurricane.

27.  Atlanta: Justin Houston – DE – Georgia
Comment: The obligatory “local product stays home” storyline for the NFL Draft. Mike Tirico thankful once again that the material writes itself.

28.  New England: Ras-I Dowling – CB – Virginia Tech
Comment: Ras-I have no clue what Belichick will do with his first pick let alone his second… so Ras-I have the Pats picking the kid with the best name in the Draft.

29.  Chicago: Danny Watkins – G – Baylor
Comment: It says in my draft magazine Watkins was an aspiring hockey player or fire fighter in Canada. I’m sure Jay Cutler will be thrilled to know football is merely a hobby for the Baylor kid.

30.  New York Jets: Akeem Ayers – OLB – UCLA
Comment: The flashiest Akeem to come to New York since Akeem Joffer.

31.  Pittsburgh: Aaron Williams – CB – Texas
Comment: Steelmen pass on Ironhead’s kid. Why? The Steelers got burnt by Brees, Brady, and Rodgers in 2010. Get burnt Orange to compensate in 2011.

32.  Green Bay: Cameron Heyward – DE – Ohio State
Comment: The first round sees more players named “Cameron” (3) then players from Universities of Miami, Notre Dame, Michigan, Texas, Florida State and Oregon combined (2).


Dave Hendrie said...

Scott great post as always. I agree with many of your predictions. The omission of Robert Quinn in your mock is highly vexing though. I look forward to hearing your interview with one of my favorite players in this years draft.

Charlie Widdoes said...

I would have to imagine that Mr. Simon was too busy making podcast magic and had a brief lapse of judgement. The Collective and all of it's supporters/contributors are all very clear on the value of Robert Quinn.

Gil Haylon said...

I'm hoping Pouncey slips by the Dolphins so we can grab him with our first pick.

Any live blogging the draft tonight? Or will it be a big day of analysis tomorrow?

John Hendrie said...

I think there is 25% chance we end up with Pouncey. And then a 100% chance that Dave and Sam come to blows.