Thursday, April 28, 2011
The OFFICIAL Scott Simon Mock Draft
1. Carolina: Cam Newton – QB – Auburn
Comment: The Panthers agree to admit to paying Newton to play football for them.
2. Denver: Marcell Dareus – DT – Alabama
Comment: With All Pros Ronald Fields, Marcus Thomas AND Louis Leonard at D-Tackle, the Broncos take a luxury pick in Dareus.
3. Buffalo: Von Miller – LB – Texas A&M
Comment: Miller played the “Joker” position at A&M and played it very well. Looking likely Ralph “Batman” Wilson will vanquish him to Buffalo.
4. Cincinnati: Blaine Gabbert – QB – Missouri
Comment: The Bengals nab a three-year “letterman” to follow Carson.
5. Arizona: Patrick Peterson – CB – LSU
Comment: Zona play zone? Not with Peterson and Rodgers-Cromartie they won’t.
6. Cleveland: AJ Green – WR – Georgia
Comment: The Browns take a Green. Green then takes an antacid.
7. San Francisco: Nick Fairley – DT – Auburn
Comment: This is what Patrick Willis is talkin’ ‘bout. A double-team inducing defensive tackle to keep the Middle Linebacker clean.
8. Tennessee: Prince Amukamara – CB – Nebraska
Comment: Amukamara instantly becomes the best Titans cover corner since Petey Jones.
9. Dallas: JJ Watt – DE – Wisconsin
Comment: A little extra wattage at Jerry’s World. JJ will shine in Big D.
10. Washington: Julio Jones – WR – Alabama
Comment: The ‘Skins need help everywhere and very few can keep up with this Jones.
11. Houston: Cameron Jordan – DE – California
Comment: If anybody can screw up a 6’6” Jordan who plays incredible defense, it might be Texans DC Wade Phillips. I have concerns…
12. Minnesota: Anthony Castonzo – OT – Boston College
Comment: After being selected, Castonzo proclaims this the “Summer of Anthony!”
13. Detroit: Aldon Smith – DE/OLB – Missouri
Comment: The city of Detroit finally have themselves a hybrid!
14. St. Louis: Corey Liuget – DT – Illinois
Comment: Scouting report says: “Relentless motor.” I say: “Too Liuget to quit.”
15. Miami: Mike Pouncey – G/C – Florida
Comment: Cue Former Dolphins Head Coach Cam Cameron and his now infamous “you’re going to love him. You’re going to love his family! He comes from a great family!” We know, Cam. We know.
16. Jacksonville: Jake Locker – QB – Washington
Comment: We will now call Jags Head Coach Jack Del Rio, Jack Del Rio Boat Gambler. The Jaguars surprise us again.
17. New England (via Oakland): Mark Ingram – RB – Alabama
Comment: With the run of tackles yet to commence, the Pats select someone who can run off tackles.
18. San Diego: Gabe Carimi – LT – Wisconsin
Comment: From southern Wisconsin to southern California, this Offensive Tackle hits the weather jackpot...
19. New York Giants: Tyron Smith – LT – USC
Comment: the same cannot be said for this Offensive Tackle.
20. Tampa Bay: Da’Quan Bowers – DE – Clemson
Comment: Da’Wait is over. Bucs save you from losing more bucks.
21. Kansas City: Ryan Kerrigan – DE – Purdue
Comment: Fun Fact: KC GM Scott Pioli is married to Bill Parcells’ daughter. I wonder if he lets her buy the groceries…
22. Indianapolis: Nate Solder – LT – Colorado
Comment: With the rookie wage scale to be implemented, Solder should have come out last year and “earned lots” (a Nate Solder anagram!)
23. Philadelphia: Jimmy Smith – CB – Colorado
Comment: A simple selection where team need meets great value. Philly fans, of course, hate the pick.
24. New Orleans: Adrian Clayborn – DE/DT – Iowa
Comment: We all saw how Clayborn tore up the Orange Bowl in 2010. He’ll do the same to the Sugar, you can bet.
25. Seattle: Andy Dalton – QB – TCU
Comment: Hasselbeck, Whitehurst, Losman, and now Dalton. Seattle now has an embarrassment of embarrassment at the Quarterback position.
26. Baltimore: Brandon Harris – CB – Miami (FL)
Comment: Lewis, Reed, McGahee, Goodman and now Harris. The Inner Harbor is the perfect place for another Hurricane.
27. Atlanta: Justin Houston – DE – Georgia
Comment: The obligatory “local product stays home” storyline for the NFL Draft. Mike Tirico thankful once again that the material writes itself.
28. New England: Ras-I Dowling – CB – Virginia Tech
Comment: Ras-I have no clue what Belichick will do with his first pick let alone his second… so Ras-I have the Pats picking the kid with the best name in the Draft.
29. Chicago: Danny Watkins – G – Baylor
Comment: It says in my draft magazine Watkins was an aspiring hockey player or fire fighter in Canada. I’m sure Jay Cutler will be thrilled to know football is merely a hobby for the Baylor kid.
30. New York Jets: Akeem Ayers – OLB – UCLA
Comment: The flashiest Akeem to come to New York since Akeem Joffer.
31. Pittsburgh: Aaron Williams – CB – Texas
Comment: Steelmen pass on Ironhead’s kid. Why? The Steelers got burnt by Brees, Brady, and Rodgers in 2010. Get burnt Orange to compensate in 2011.
32. Green Bay: Cameron Heyward – DE – Ohio State
Comment: The first round sees more players named “Cameron” (3) then players from Universities of Miami, Notre Dame, Michigan, Texas, Florida State and Oregon combined (2).