Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wings and Things Power Rankings: Week 1

Not sure where these are from, but I want to go there.

Week 1 is in the books, but not before some big time shake-ups in the power rankings.  I tried not to be too reactionary because it's only one week, but some teams really showed me something so I had to adjust my initial evaluations of each team.  As always, feel free to comment and send pics of wings and/or things.

1) Vlad Ducasse -- I have been called a Dandyboy apologist before, but it really is difficult to argue with the results.  The man got 22 points out of Reggie Bush!  My original concern was that he couldn't continue his success with Cutler and Fitzpatrick, but they combined for 44 points.  He had four guys over 20 points and all but one in double digits, that guy being Larry Fitzgerald, with 8 points.  His last three guys on his roster (Ben Tate, Darren Sproles and Rex Grossman) are all viable starters.  No more sleeping on Dandyboy.

2) Beefcakes -- In a repeat of Week 1 last year, the Beefcakes did work on the G-MEN.  What once was the league's biggest rivalry has turned into a one-sided series of beatdowns in Timmy's favor, thanks to Tom Terrific (36 points) and the Philly duo of DeSean (20) and LeSean (27).  The Beefcakes have gotten our attention with balanced scoring across the board (everyone except the crappy old geezer Pittsburgh D with double digits), now we will see if they have the mental fortitude to hang on to this spot.

3) R.I. Bulldogs -- My preseason top team got some tough luck running into Danny's team in Week 1, so I'm not ready to give up yet.  Big Ben will do better than nine points most weeks so I still expect the QB situation to be strong in R.I.  That said, there are some red flags that could cause this squad to keep dropping, most notably the fact that the KICKER Ty picked in the 9th ROUND(!) was in the lineup yet is on injured reserve.  Poor management there makes for a short stay atop the power rankings.

4) Know-Shon? -- After a Week 1 loss, this ranking may be a little generous, but the Champs showed some promising signs even in defeat.  Starting Arian Foster when he was ruled out was not a good decision, but Romo and Flacco made a statement as a top QB tandem and the receiving duo of Kenny Britt and Brandon Lloyd looks formidable.  Chris Johnson should get more than nine points a week, but Tennessee is a funny situation right now so we'll have to keep an eye out for that.

5) Tomlin's Shape-Up -- It looks like the tallest Widdoes men have put past struggles behind them and are ready to compete in 2011.  Perhaps the best receiving corps in the league (Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall and Plaxico Burress) combined for almost 60 points and the Mikes (Tolbert and Vick) added another 50.  Tolbert is a beast and can no longer be overlooked, just like the Shape-Ups.

6) Dream Shake -- Despite a sucky QB combo of McNabb and Orton, Will coasted to a victory over the Champ on the strength of 25 points each from Calvin Johnson and Matt Forte, as well as 24 unexpected points from his boys, the Niners D.  That won't happen often, but Beanie Wells almost hit 20 and could be in for a big year, and Stevie Johnson just keeps killing it.

7) Football Jukes -- It's a new year for the Football Jukes, making waiver claims and winning games.  He took down that overrated chump EO in Week 1 and turns around and makes two savvy waiver pickups right after.  Behind the golden smile and rocket arm of Cammy Cam Newton (watch the video), the Jukes put the smackdown on the Truth.

8) Softer Knocks -- The Knocks had the good fortune of playing me in Week 1, and that led to an easy W.  I'm still not sure about this team's chances for the season, but we know Joe is a silent assassin and that Knowshon, Jermichael and Maclin figure to improve on their lackluster performances.

9) Roger Gooddell -- My team stunk in Week 1, but there are reasons to believe that won't be the case gong forward.  Mendenhall looked god until the Ravens began eating the limbs of Steelers players and forced them to throw the ball, which they did directly into the arms of Ravens defensive backs.  Matt Ryan, the key to my team's success, has to be better than he was in Week 1, right?  I can't have the worst team in the league, otherwise my ability to produce power rankings will be completely illegitimized (possible made up word).

10) G-MEN -- It can't feel good for the G-MEN to get smacked down by Timmy again on top of such an embarrassing defeat for the real G-Men at the hands of the Redskins.  Their decision not to draft a decent 2nd QB looks like it may cost them and I have my doubts about Percy Harvin and Mario Manningham as go-to fantasy WR's.  We'll see how they do this week in their second consecutive Finkle matchup against the R.I. Bulldogs.

11) Kiss the Baby -- Demps put up a respectable 132 points but fell to the Tomlin Shape-Ups thanks to a lack of production from Vincent Jackson (4.6), Lee Evans (0), and Joseph Addai (6.7).  Despite a resounding win for the Texans, Matt Schaub only produced 10.8 fantasy points, and we all know Eli stinks, so we may see the former champs relying very heavily on Greg Jennings and Aaron Hernandez going forward.  Next up: a showdown with last year's co-cellar-dweller, the Football Jukes.

12) #4 Great Teammate -- How the mighty have fallen... Like my passion for his athleticism, was I off base with his initial fantasy ranking?  Is this team too volatile, like it's owner, to compete in such a high-stakes league?  losing to Jukes in Week 1?  Come on, Truth, what's it gonna be this season?  Are you actually trying to be Jukes with Mike Sims-Walker and Benjarvus Green-Ellis?  You know that didn't work out too well last season...  Will you be getting anything from LGBT or Pierre Garcon?  A matchup with the Softer Knocks this week could be a must-win if you don't want to get off to a slow start like last year.


Will Lyons said...

with some great wr depth, looking to pick up a respectable qb, let me know if anyone is interested. also if my opponents would continue to keep inactive players in their lineups that would be great. go niners.

Tim Finkle said...

So I finally get a respectable ranking and I actually think its too high!! Colsten and Steven Jackson are injured. I have to play Chaize this week, so the timing could not be worse.

I know Tomlin's Shape-Up refers to a haircutting style, but I always read it thinking about the fine athletic shoes designed by Skechers that makes your butt look so good. Maybe Ed Truth should invest in a pair, he's getting soft in that region.

Sumner Widdoes said...

Oh you're trying not to be too reactionary and you put the team with JAY FUCKING CUTLER and RYAN FIZPATRICK number one? A five spot jump for a couple performances that will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN? That is the definition of reactionary. How could anyone dare call you a dandyboy apologist? What a load of crap

Charlie Widdoes said...

Waahhhhh. If you read what I wrote, you would see that I rank Dandyboy first because of the depth and quality of his lineup and his track record of making good decisions.

Tim Finkle said...

Soom, you said it! Charlie has always had a soft spot for the Dan Man, ever since he saw the jewfro, headband and mid-calf socks roaming the hardwood. I do believe in Fitzpatrick though, and I can say that because I've never actually watched him play - wait that makes no sense. He sucks, but not as much as Eli.

Tim Finkle said...

oh and will lyons, I got a 416 yard passing Chad Henne for you. He has Marshall, Bess, and Bush to throw too, should be a repeat performace all year long. Let's talk.

Sumner Widdoes said...

I read what you wrote, and it seems that ranking was largely due to the performances of Cutler, Fitz and Reggie Bush. I came to that conclusion because those are the first three people you mention in the ranking justification. Also, you make no mention of Danny's "track record of making good decisions," which should have been called into question anyway the moment he drafted JAY FUCKING CUTLER and RYAN FITZPATRICK as his starting quarterbacks.

His depth is commendable, and for that he deserves a spot right where he started -- in the middle of the pack. Launching him up to #1 is a ludicrous reaction to one week of exceeded expectations. I look forward to a more level-headed approach to the rankings in the coming weeks.

Tomlin's Shape Up

THE TRUTH said...


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