Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Wings and Things Power Rankings: Week 3
|The most delicious grub in Stamford: the High School from Garden Catering, in honor of DandyBoy.|
1) Vlad Ducasse -- As Tommy Satran aka Satchy Satch said, Danny is the best teammate. I put him at the top of the power rankings and he made sure to make me look good for doing so. Soom's mouth tastes like foot because Big Vlad gave the Shape Ups the business. Amish Rifle and Ray Rice got 20 apiece, but even more impressive is the work that Dandyboy does to get 19 and 18 points from Jimmy Graham and Tim Hightower, respectively.
2) Softer Knocks -- The matchup of the week did not disappoint, but Timmy's Golden Boy QB's were no match for Joe. Matt Stafford, beast QB of the 3-0 Lions has passed for 977 yards, 9 TD's , and only 2 picks through the first three games. At this point, we can safely say that the former Elite 11 favorite of Football Jukes (below, far right), is officially and Elite NFL QB as long as he can stay healthy. The Knocks look strong even in the wake of Jamaal Charles' injury thanks to Jermichael Finley (who scored 31 points last week) and the man who is on pace to gain over 2,000 yards receiving this season.
|The guys on the ends are really cool. The guy second from left, not so much.|
3) G-MEN -- Tough week for the league as the real G-MEN won a big game and Craig and Scott also won. Craig claims that Rob Gronkowski was the pick of the draft and at this point he has a case, but let's see what these guys do this week and going forward without a second starting QB. That's a lot of pressure on A-Rod and Purple Jesus.
4) Beefcakes -- Despite losing to Joe, 176-145, and losing the top spot in the rankings after only one short week, Timmy managed to coach his two QB's, Brady and Sanchez, to almost the exact same score (27.98 and 27.96). That is impressive. Not so impressive: WR's Mike Williams, DeSean Jackson and Deion Branch combining for fewer points than David Nelson's 12.9 (Let's go Buff-a-lo!). Up this week: rivalry matchup with EO the Truth to see once and for all who is more athletic.
5) Dream Shake-- Listen Will, I know you took my number on the Conn College Camels and look up to me for guidance on how to get injured all the time and yet still try to play hoops, but you should know that fantasy football is NOT an area in which you want to be like me. Having four guys get you under five points is no way to go through life, so I'd suggest you tell Andy Dalton, Hakeem Nicks, Steve Smith and Dallas Clark to shape up or ship out, or else you might just be in position to give my crappy squad its first win this week.
6) Kiss the Baby -- Demps took the sucky player strategy a step further last week, playing three guys (Hillis, Aaron Hernandez, Jets D) who came away with zero points. He came away with the win, though, because he was playing the Truth and because Ryan Matthews went off for 30 points. Matthews is another Steal Of The Draft candidate as a 6th round pick.
7) RI Bulldogs -- Some fun numbers from my matchup with Ty Finks:
After the 1 o'clock games ended, he was beating me, 116-8.
Wes Welker's 47.6 points were a point short of half my team's total.
Fred Jackson and Drew Brees both went over 25 also, meaning Ty beat me with three players.
It's tough to put the team I originally had #1 this far down the list, but the difference between 7th and 5th is not much and the tiebreaker had to go to the teams with the winning records.
8) Know-Shon? -- The winner of the closest game of the week gets the edge over his Week 3 foe (fist raise for Dudley folks) and #9 Football Jukes. He only won by 1.11 points (118.10-119.21) and this was an extremely difficult decision. After going back and forth, weighing the impact of Kenny Britt's season-ending injury, I decided that the 2-1 record, plus the fact that Arian Foster has produced nothing and should only get better get the advantage over Jukes' gritty bunch.
9) Football Jukes -- He lost and the critics are coming back out to call him the "Same ol' football jukes," but we would be silly to dismiss him. He has the best RB duo in Darren McFadden (another 32 points in Week 3) and MJD and Cam & Kolb are always a threat to throw for 400. Big test coming up this weekend against Big Vlad Ducasse.
10) Tomlin's Shape Up -- Soom and Faj put all their eggs in the Mike Vick basket, and like you might expect with a guy who weighs 120 pounds and plays behind a questionable offensive line, that has led to some injury issues thus far. Sam Bradford has no weapons to throw to and Mike Tolbert looks like he's losing touches to Ryan Matthews, so the taller men in my family better be hoping for big things from Shonn Greene and Montario Hardesty, a Jukes 2010 favorite.
11) #4 Great Teammate -- If the Truth weren't so busy fighting off sheet metal unions from protesting outside the EB O'Reilly corporate headquarters and longing for more babes in the HVAC industry, he might explode from the angst his sucky team has produced. Hopefully Rivers and Roddy White and LGBT pick things up or the city of Philadelphia is in big trouble.
12) Roger Goodell -- I'm in last place. As I mentioned earlier, I was losing, 116-8 after the early games. I'm not sure what, exactly, is the problem, but there is most definitely some sort of problem here. I invested heavily in the Falcons offense and Matt Ryan is playing like the PHilly/BC softy he is, but Tony Gonzalez and Julio should be good. My running back situation is sketchy so if anyone has a good one available, let me know. Nothing more to write here, I gotta go scan the waiver wire for some good players.